I do not see the reason...

It starts with a general irritation,
then grows to an inexcusable level of pain.

All I know for that time
is squeezing and releasing
each squeeze as excruciating as the release.

Full and round
Wet and bloodied,
the "unclean" time again.

Am I to remember something?
Or is it just senseless suffering?

Others do not have this... monster
inside of them,
who lies dormant twenty one days
then explodes
like an apopleptic slaveowner
with an insatiable desire
to cause unbearable agony.

Torturing me from the inside,
like a twisted and evil embryo,
bent on the slow torture
and destruction of its creator.

What can be the meaning of this ?
Why the unimaginable, unrelenting pain ?
What can I learn from this,
O' Lord, who is supposed to be merciful,
loving, and kind ?
How can you watch your child suffer so
much for so long ?
Perhaps you are dead.
Because I would rather be.