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I do not see the reason...It starts with a general irritation,
then grows to an inexcusable level of pain.
All I know for that time
is squeezing and releasing
each squeeze as excruciating as the release.
Full and round
Wet and bloodied,
the "unclean" time again.
Am I to remember something?
Or is it just senseless suffering?
Others do not have this... monster
inside of them,
who lies dormant twenty one days
like an apopleptic slaveowner
with an insatiable desire
to cause unbearable agony.
Torturing me from the inside,
like a twisted and evil embryo,
bent on the slow torture
and destruction of its creator.
What can be the meaning of this ?
Why the unimaginable, unrelenting pain ?
What can I learn from this,
O' Lord, who is supposed to be merciful,
loving, and kind ?
How can you watch your child suffer so
much for so long ?
Perhaps you are dead.
Because I would rather be.
gahSpit in my face
blood on my hands
pain in my heart
guilt on my soul
But the magic is here!
Inside of you,
as the fluid runs,
I am healed.
Best Dad EverDad:
The "Chick" lady. Hows it going... think we could possibly start some sort of talk ? Throw it if you need to , I can take it, If theres nothing to throw, them Praise GOD, you have no "strongholds" against me. You look pretty in your picture, This has been a great loss for me, but, I must... MUST go on. Love you Dad.
Lexi: I will not have this conversation with you in the public sphere.
Dad: Ahhh.... That answeres my question. And I understand. Thanks for being candid. Love you Dad
Sphere.... Cool word.
O.K. then when ? You think I just somehow went " Forgot all about her" I hope not, I truly by honor of my LORD, think of you and Eli each and every day since I last saw you both. Hello ? Thats, called LOVE. Otherwise, I would not. Right ?
o Hm. Not sure what to say. Are you asking me if I think that you love me? Who knows? i don't. And frankly, I don't care. I did at one point, not anymore. Why should I answer your demands of conversation with me? I have no need of y
A Farewell to FakeIt shouldn't hurt, but it does.
I shoudn't care, but I do.
You shouldn't matter, but you do.
Yep, I'm a human being, with feelings, and all that stuff.
No, I'm not an ice princess.
I'm just a person who tried to be a friend.
But you don't give back, you only take.
I am not useful to you anymore, I get it.
It's my problem now.
You, not YouI am tired of chasing
these petals on the wind
I grow weary of climbing
this jagged, rocky slope.
So what to do?
When one is exhausted
from the push and pull
of the smoky phantoms?
The answer, it seems
is quite simple, yes.
If you want the top
of the mountain,
If you seek the fabric
of the breeze,
You must find it within
Behind the one that sees.
So its been AwhileSo its been quite awhile now,
since we've seen each other last.
Forgive me if I fail to bow,
Respect for you has long passed.
But here you are; just the same!
Once again playing the old game.
I once thought things could change,
You'd show up, and we would play,
Be so happy that we'd seem strange,
And not stop laughing all damn day!
But reality hits like an ice cold shower,
In your presence, I'd rather cower.
No comfort, no courage, no safe place to hide.
Only angels and spirits to be my guides.
No laughter, no smiles, no fun to be had
When I've got someone like you for a Dad.
Just a BrawlGreen, Blue, Black, Red,
I don't really want you dead.
Yellow, Purple, Orange, White,
It's just so much fun to fight!
Hard, Sticky, Soft, Slick,
Power flows with every lick.
Punch, Smash, Hit, Pound,
As we end up on the ground.
Cry, Scream, Laugh, Rage,
A crazed animal behind a cage.
Win, Tie, Forfeit, Lose,
We've forgotten that we can choose.
Let's Make Something BeautifulLet's make something beautiful today, my dear so sweet and smart,
For the sun has risen again, and surely this calls for Art!
Do not let yourself worry about color, form, or line, today,
There are somethings you cannot get wrong.
And if you get discouraged amidst your creative foray,
Just change what you've made into a loud song!
And sing for the world to hear,
Even from the rooftops!
Let the notes touch every ear,
Louder than a rude ol' boombox!
For, surely as the days is long,
Your anthem will lift these hearts.
And at the end of your sweet lively song,
I'm afraid that's when we must part.
So I'll lift my arms up to the sky and say,
What a beautiful thing you've made today!
The Boy Who Wouldnt EatIf you can flutter
I have failed you,
for you were not forged
to be so insubstantial as that
You were writ
to be an epic fable
of endings ignored,
of outlasting your body
through the sheer will
of a writers starving heart
through a broken, bowed
but bravely abiding body
that fights the soul
to comprehend Beauty.
................written in a frenzy and run-on
and exclamation points
used in rapid succession
words all blurred
so bare bones it's bloody
strung out and on display
in a frightening combination
of paragraphs and stanzas
punctuation gone mad
ellipses my new black
used and abused
then spit out
in gratuitous repetition
there is no word count here
no hearts dotting the i's
just a string of letters
done up in cursive
but not very pretty at all
Five AMPre-dawn darkness again, seething, quiet
A monster hugging the city
How heavy, how suffocating it is
The clock has run down on time for dreaming
A void between night and morning
Ready to swallow everything up
A time for old men's reflections
On love, and loss, and sorrow
Oppressive black sky, you eat everything
But the all-night diner
Where lonely old men sit
Drinking coffee at five AM
QuicksandYou trapped me
Dragged me below the surface
And held me there
You chained me
Put brass around my ankles
And left me struggling
You broke me
Beat me with whips made of hate
And hurt me more
You changed me
Made me who you wanted
And killed me inside
You hid me
Stole me away from the light
And made me blind
You crushed me
Blew my dust in the wind
And danced on my grave
surrounding my body
And now I'm twenty feet under
With no chance of being saved
From Your 'Secret' AdmirerHeaven,
this is not a love letter
I will swear to God,
with a halo on my head
and a hole in my heart.
But the fact is I revere you
more than I have any right to.
After all, we are nothing except
who have awkward conversations.
So why is it that every time the line
falls silent I panic, worrying that your shadow
will make my efforts nothing but a distant memory,
when every word you speak strongly marks my mind?
Simple: I fear having something to lose
and losing the nothing I have. You are
treasure to me, and this note becomes my confession.
Sincerely- I typed this, but I'm sure you'll recognize the handwriting.
Death, Judgment, RebirthLast Time in the ICU
Shadow rats, beady red eyes focused hungrily
Stay still too long and they’ll swarm
Sharp little teeth rending flesh
They know the sick and weak
They can wait
Tenth floor ICU, down with the disease again
He’s resting quietly, the nurse says
She looks like a huge black rat
Does she know what’s happening?
Closing the door
She walks away
Sweet childhood dreams are interrupted
Rats gnawing away at the edges
Toothy little kisses all over
Cleaning, cleansing scurry
Down to the bone
Sentenced to Live
Firelight, poker-faced patchwork man reading aloud
An old but vaguely familiar tome, his tone is somber
Was I one of the wicked? Weren’t we all?
Who can say that they were good?
Sentenced to live yet another life
I cry; I’ve had enough living
I want to sleep forever, leave my shell behind
To crumble to dust, useless, I won’t need it
Every door opens to the same world
Is this hell, then? The onl
give me a challenge, give me you.i have grown
the blood in my veins
have become more
than plasma, and i
am now trapped
within my own hollowed-out
this haze of
has to be transitory--
i can't let it be anything
Sound PoemIthrumden, ithrumden delsum
nith mul thruss elmrissull.
Eth rut mundelliss
Curmiette dessel renrin
irme trell ithrumden.
Unseen JoyHow beautiful is life?
More than my skills at prose can convey.
Light dances all around me,
Yet I remain in the darkness,
And I cry out for the divine.
Love flows throughout my being,
Yet my heart stays stubbornly closed,
While I wonder why it hurts so much.
I see you laughing, dancing, singing.
So beautiful, I go into ecstasy.
Then, I laugh.
For, while I had forgotten you were there,
And cried out in despair for your touch,
Behind all of it,
you were right here with me, around me, in me,
Wondering why I was carrying on so much!
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More