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I do not see the reason...It starts with a general irritation,
then grows to an inexcusable level of pain.
All I know for that time
is squeezing and releasing
each squeeze as excruciating as the release.
Full and round
Wet and bloodied,
the "unclean" time again.
Am I to remember something?
Or is it just senseless suffering?
Others do not have this... monster
inside of them,
who lies dormant twenty one days
like an apopleptic slaveowner
with an insatiable desire
to cause unbearable agony.
Torturing me from the inside,
like a twisted and evil embryo,
bent on the slow torture
and destruction of its creator.
What can be the meaning of this ?
Why the unimaginable, unrelenting pain ?
What can I learn from this,
O' Lord, who is supposed to be merciful,
loving, and kind ?
How can you watch your child suffer so
much for so long ?
Perhaps you are dead.
Because I would rather be.
gahSpit in my face
blood on my hands
pain in my heart
guilt on my soul
But the magic is here!
Inside of you,
as the fluid runs,
I am healed.
Best Dad EverDad:
The "Chick" lady. Hows it going... think we could possibly start some sort of talk ? Throw it if you need to , I can take it, If theres nothing to throw, them Praise GOD, you have no "strongholds" against me. You look pretty in your picture, This has been a great loss for me, but, I must... MUST go on. Love you Dad.
Lexi: I will not have this conversation with you in the public sphere.
Dad: Ahhh.... That answeres my question. And I understand. Thanks for being candid. Love you Dad
Sphere.... Cool word.
O.K. then when ? You think I just somehow went " Forgot all about her" I hope not, I truly by honor of my LORD, think of you and Eli each and every day since I last saw you both. Hello ? Thats, called LOVE. Otherwise, I would not. Right ?
o Hm. Not sure what to say. Are you asking me if I think that you love me? Who knows? i don't. And frankly, I don't care. I did at one point, not anymore. Why should I answer your demands of conversation with me? I have no need of y
A Farewell to FakeIt shouldn't hurt, but it does.
I shoudn't care, but I do.
You shouldn't matter, but you do.
Yep, I'm a human being, with feelings, and all that stuff.
No, I'm not an ice princess.
I'm just a person who tried to be a friend.
But you don't give back, you only take.
I am not useful to you anymore, I get it.
It's my problem now.
You, not YouI am tired of chasing
these petals on the wind
I grow weary of climbing
this jagged, rocky slope.
So what to do?
When one is exhausted
from the push and pull
of the smoky phantoms?
The answer, it seems
is quite simple, yes.
If you want the top
of the mountain,
If you seek the fabric
of the breeze,
You must find it within
Behind the one that sees.
So its been AwhileSo its been quite awhile now,
since we've seen each other last.
Forgive me if I fail to bow,
Respect for you has long passed.
But here you are; just the same!
Once again playing the old game.
I once thought things could change,
You'd show up, and we would play,
Be so happy that we'd seem strange,
And not stop laughing all damn day!
But reality hits like an ice cold shower,
In your presence, I'd rather cower.
No comfort, no courage, no safe place to hide.
Only angels and spirits to be my guides.
No laughter, no smiles, no fun to be had
When I've got someone like you for a Dad.
Just a BrawlGreen, Blue, Black, Red,
I don't really want you dead.
Yellow, Purple, Orange, White,
It's just so much fun to fight!
Hard, Sticky, Soft, Slick,
Power flows with every lick.
Punch, Smash, Hit, Pound,
As we end up on the ground.
Cry, Scream, Laugh, Rage,
A crazed animal behind a cage.
Win, Tie, Forfeit, Lose,
We've forgotten that we can choose.
Let's Make Something BeautifulLet's make something beautiful today, my dear so sweet and smart,
For the sun has risen again, and surely this calls for Art!
Do not let yourself worry about color, form, or line, today,
There are somethings you cannot get wrong.
And if you get discouraged amidst your creative foray,
Just change what you've made into a loud song!
And sing for the world to hear,
Even from the rooftops!
Let the notes touch every ear,
Louder than a rude ol' boombox!
For, surely as the days is long,
Your anthem will lift these hearts.
And at the end of your sweet lively song,
I'm afraid that's when we must part.
So I'll lift my arms up to the sky and say,
What a beautiful thing you've made today!
the truth about growing up
1. It's easier when you don't think.
1. It starts early,
on a cloudy day when you recall
the 'childhood memories' of
two summers ago,
that's when you start your backslide into
2. On the bright side
you won't notice this until you're
good and ripe in age,
so maybe it doesn't matter
3. That tightness in your chest?
The feeling that you're not ready
to take on the rest of your life; it
4. It stews in the pit of your stomach
makes you doubt,
but there will be days when you look back
on the mountains you climbed -
the raging rivers you crossed -
and you'll have a sneaking suspicion you were
more prepared than you thought.
5. There's nothing like your own bed.
6. Laundry will never smell right
without mom's sweat and tears.
But you still have to separate lights from darks,
keep the zippers pulled tight
and the buttons unhooked.
7. There is comfort in your parents' presence.
8. Things change
the future gnaws and rips
Southern modernizationBlack comedy market economy, banana peel political humour, cards with the cartels, the solution free room service and credit the union. Bolivar twist, ding dong dollar under control, valley of the coin desert with no value. Gangsta paradise, the victims are the people. Big mac and cold conflict interference a part of it all. In little Mexico you’d need a high horse to jump the great border wall that boasts its peak.
Viracocha melts waters unlike those it rose from, making waves of out of metal oceans to overtake the current south, re-steel, re-take, tech-mechs the entire south into neo-Machu Picchu, cyberpunk music moulding, reshaping old society into an new age, iron dynasty, fresh coat for an old, ancient look. The coattails of Quetzalcoatl if he were a modern man pull together the merge of future and long passed past..techno temples and the like.
LullabyHush, my baby,
Be still, don't cry.
Lay with me
A little while.
Close your eyes,
Slow your breath.
Hear your heart
Inside your chest?
Your heart is strong,
It guides you well.
Be sure to listen
To what it tells.
I hear him now,
Outside the room.
It won't be long,
He'll find us soon.
Now close your eyes,
Slow your breath,
And rest your head
Upon my chest.
Darkest MoonI celebrate my right to live;
To the dismay of some, perhaps
It should be noted
These words I write, however true
Are only portions of the moon
I’ve decide to shine light upon.
But who am I to preach respect?
Who Am I to preach equality?
An advocate for re-personification
Of the female gender
But exhibits cannibalistic characteristics
Within dark spaces.
I am a shadow
Hidden within an Eggshell, painted pink,
Waiting to hatch.
Is the darkness
The night brought upon us.
CarolineYou loved the fire
of rogues -
imperfect men who shot up
the endings of the day
and drank down
too much beauty.
And like one of them,
you bellied with rebellion,
felt his tense seed
toil where women
and craved his notoriety.
Poor girl -
his verses won the day
and the call of words
was too fickle a lover
for any constant star.
Don't blame yourself -
are more attractive
and all poets are
things to tell you before i leave for collegeto mrs hatcher:
i promise that one day i will write that poem you asked me for
(the only thing you ever asked me for)
and i will finally tell you that you deserve
so much more.
to mr. walker:
i promise that i will not pity you.
i promise that i will not envy you.
i promise that you will always be one of my forget-me-nots and marigolds.
i promise to always be grateful.
i promise to be careful.
i promise to be crazy.
i promise that i will remember what it feels like to be needed
and what it feels like to let someone who needs you down.
i promise that i will never resent you for asking for help
and that i will always be there when you do.
i promise that even sixty years from now,
i will not be surprised to find a letter from you in my mailbox.
i promise to always remember what it felt like to be young and crazy with you,
how scared and lonely we were.
i will remember that we both survived it,
and that we'll survive this, too.
You Were Born Missing SomethingYour skin is glazed with crystals of frost
and your heart's valves are close to
freezing shut tight
from being devoid of something
Though I am torrents of hail, whirling storms,
warm tears streaking,and tornadoes of rage
that flow uncontrollably through my veins
and out of my mouth,
every breath near you is warm
because your words are so cold
I am a natural disaster at its finest
with bones twisted in painful angles
and a crooked spine
you were born spineless
it was a broken sense of beautifulhis smile was like dust caught
in sunlight; more like a dreamy state
of being than reality, like the half-
remembered yesterday that still haunts your
memories because you
didn't want to forget how it
we'd lie on the floor with
slats of light shot across the ceiling, drinking
in the atmosphere
with windows propped open by
books and yellowed pages,
and by the time
we wandered into sleep, we were drunk instead
smell of roses --
he was a broken kind of beautiful, a
beautiful kind of flawed; love-letters, anonymous
and never sent littered
the dusty floorboards beneath his
of what we were before
love found it's way
back around; hours passed in a sunset haze
as my fingers ghosted over words
he'd written half-asleep, ink smudged on his fingers --
they say the music
comes when your heart's about to break, more
like a whimper than a bang; but i've
never heard a song so
sweet, and this sense of lovely has found it's home
inside my bones --
Unseen JoyHow beautiful is life?
More than my skills at prose can convey.
Light dances all around me,
Yet I remain in the darkness,
And I cry out for the divine.
Love flows throughout my being,
Yet my heart stays stubbornly closed,
While I wonder why it hurts so much.
I see you laughing, dancing, singing.
So beautiful, I go into ecstasy.
Then, I laugh.
For, while I had forgotten you were there,
And cried out in despair for your touch,
Behind all of it,
you were right here with me, around me, in me,
Wondering why I was carrying on so much!
Keep in Touch!